bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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