just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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