Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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