she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
