GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
