I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
