you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if only i could text you this smell
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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