Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize