My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
