your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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