Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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