super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
