I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
