I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
