Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
