you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just found puke in my bra..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
