Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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