I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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