There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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