he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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