Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The ass gains better be worth it
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