He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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