I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Randomize
