your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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