question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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