Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
