i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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