I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
