fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
