So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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