It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
