I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
