the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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