1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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