ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
