Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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