Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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