bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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