this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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