I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
