So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
