Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
