he puts the penis in happiness.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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