Sponge bath it is.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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