So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
