Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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