she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
