i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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