Christians are straight up FREAKS
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Randomize
