About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
