You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We left the knife in your bed.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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