i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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