She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
