She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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