Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
