Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
