WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
