I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
