It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
