I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
