The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
